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productions presents... DRAMATIS PERSONAE SCENE: the Centaur Stage Theatre, somewhere in space-time. ************************************************************************ ACT I SCENE 1 (We see ACTOR standing, flyer in hand, in an alley outside the stage door. He is dressed in chinos & T-shirt [preferably with community theatre logo]. A poster on the wall reads "Centaur Stage... Auditions Today") ACTOR (to himself): SCENE 2 (Interior of theatre.We see CIRCE sitting in
the fourth or fifth row of the orchestra, from behind, looking toward
the bare stage. ACTOR is standing there under the worklight, script in
hand, a little nervous.) CIRCE (briskly): SCENE 3 (We watch from the stage R wings as HIPPEA enters, script also in hand. She is a prime bit of horseflesh; her human portion is just as ravishing.. She is clad only in a zebra-print halter top [or, if you prefer,in nothing at all]. She is also about a head taller than ACTOR.) HIPPEA (smiling): ACTOR (visibly startled): ************************************************************************* ACT II SCENE 1 (We see ACTOR facing HIPPEA, who is downstage. ACTOR is sweating heavily & trembling as he studies his script. Something is already happening to him: his ears have become pointy, his hair is a bit longer, & there are ominous bulges in his trousers.) CIRCE (from audience): ACTOR: Er, heh-heh.. (Reads): HIPPEA (Reads): SCENE 2 (ACTOR & HIPPEA are both in profile, with spotlight shining on them, reaching out for an embrace. ACTOR doesn't notice his legs changing shape, his rapidly expanding trouser seat, or even the miniature forehooves just peeking out from his waistband. He is now taller, too; almost eye-to-eye with HIPPEA.) HIPPEA (Reads): ACTOR (Reads): CIRCE (from audience): SCENE 3 (ACTOR's trousers are now hanging in shreds; his T-shirt is now rather too small for him. He has fully developed equine hindquarters [though his tail is still a bit stubby]; his lower body is lengthening into a barrel; and two smallish forelegs have popped out. Little valentine hearts are swimming around his head, as HIPPEA kisses him passionately on the lips.) (sfx: SMOOOCH!!!) ACTOR (Thinks: WHOA NELLIE!!!) SCENE 4 (ACTOR suddenly breaks off embrace; he is balancing precariously on his hind legs, while his forelegs desperately paw the air for support. His T-shirt is finally splitting; his tail has sprouted completely, & is lashing about behind him. He is quite HIPPEA's size now: an almost perfect Appaloosa centaur.) ACTOR: CIRCE (from audience): SCENE 5 (ACTOR is now thoroughly confused; he tries to read again) ACTOR: CIRCE (laughing & applauding): ************************************************************************* EPILOGUE (optional): SCENE 1: (CIRCE has come up on stage, where ACTOR is standing, still somewhat dazed, but beginning to understand his situation. HIPPEA has dropped her script, and is gazing at him appreciatively. His build is a bit more muscular than before; he is now somewhat taller than HIPPEA, with luxuriant, almost mane-like hair. As for the rest of him.......well, you know...) CIRCE (businesslike again): SCENE 2 (ACTOR & HIPPEA are exiting the stage door. The alley has been replaced by a sylvan landscape, with perhaps a small temple in the background. They trot along side by side.) ACTOR (shyly): HIPPEA (giggles at the Appaloosa joke): ACTOR (Thinks: Boy, I can't wait for OPENING NIGHT!) |