Welcome to The Funhouse's newest dining experience:

Szechuan Fire
(pronounced "Set-You-On Fire")
Exotic Spicy and Extra-Spicy Chinese Cuisine

Guaranteed Dragons-Breath Hot!

Do step into the intimate, inviting (if slightly overheated) private dining room that Circe has prepared expressly for you, knowing of your insatiable appetite for the most highly seasoned of exotic cuisines.

As you await your dinner, absent-mindedly munching on the spicy crunchy noodles in the bowl before you, you take in the restaurant's exotic decor, festooned with sculptures, paintings and other representations of innumerable dragons: Asian...Medieval...Fantasy...even whimsical, anthropomorphic cartoon ones, all set against scale-patterned, glistening-green wallpaper. The chair in which you sit is itself in the form of a dragon, with carved, taloned claws decorating its arms and legs, its fierce head towering over yours. You truly feel as if you are surrounded by these magnificent beasts - almost as if you were one of their number yourself.

Your mouth pleasantly atingle, your appetite growing ever more insatiable, you await your meal. Finally your repast arrives: highly seasoned, sizzling soup...demonically hot dumplings...and dish after dish of incandescently spicy, irresistibly flavorable specialties of the house - each one more fiery than the last.

Strangely, this surfeit of seasoning does not pain your palate, but only makes you hungry for more, even spicier dishes, which the Szechuan Fire's kitchens are only too happy to provide... You grow aware of an increasingly strong, yet strangely pleasurable burning sensation in your mouth and lungs that seems to fill your body with hunger and strength.

Little do you realize that burning sensation is the 'pilot light' for your soon-to-ignite firebreath. Also, your appearance is growing more dragonlike, although you're so busy eating you don't notice this detail.) After you've finished your meal, all it now takes is a final tidbit -- a tiny, incindiary pepper offered as dessert, or perhaps a sip of gasoline tea -- to ignite your pilot light and trigger your first blast of firebreath, marking your full transformation into your new dragon form. Hope you enjoyed your meal!

Once Szechuan Fire opens an outlet in Cultus Creek word of its amazing cuisine quickly spreads,
leading to a new, most festive atmosphere in town...

A guest image by Funhouse (and Szechuan Fire) Fan "Harethe"

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