Twas the day before Christmas, and in one non-descript house lived a boy who, this year, had been acting like a louse.
The boy sat playing X-Box not really caring that Santa Claus would most likely be skipping his place this season. He didn’t see the use in being nice just to score an extra gift or two. He was lost in his game when he heard the doorbell ring. His parents were out doing last minute shopping, so it was up to him to answer the door. “Probably another package from one of my retarded relatives,” he grumbled as he got up. When the boy opened the door, there was no one in sight just a green box with a red bow set on the ‘Welcome’ mat. He picked up the box and noticed it was for him. Shrugging, he took it inside and put it on the table. Since his parents were gone, he decided he would open the gift now, hide the box from his parents, and then get rid of the evidence after Christmas was over. The boy unwrapped this unexpected present wondering what kind of gift could be in such a large box. “What the hell!?” he exclaimed as he pulled the item from the box. It was a large, red leather harness. There were designated holes for the legs and the arms, and that was about it. There was a nameplate on the chest area of the harness upon which was inscribed the name ‘Donner.’ “What kind of sick, gay ****er would send me something like this!?” the boy asked in disgust. The boy looked at the tag on the box. The tag read: ‘From Santa.’ “Oh, really ****ing cute,” he growled.
“Do you like it?” a voice asked. The boy spun around to see who had said that. To his surprise, there stood a chubby old man with a long white beard in a Santa costume. There was no mistake that this guy could pass himself off as Santa Claus any day of the year. “What are you doing in my house?” the boy said angrily. The intruder didn’t seem to have a weapon and the boy could hold his own in a fight, so he wasn’t scared. “I just came to give you your Christmas present,” the old man said in a gentle voice. “Aren’t you going to try it on?” The boy looked at the harness in his hand, then looked at the old man and said, “Forget it, you wrinkled pervert. I’m not going to be your little leather boy.” “That really isn’t what I had in mind,” the old man said, “but if you are too afraid to just put it on for a second…” The boy glared at the Santa wannabe. “**** you, old man.” Then he put his legs through the holes in the harness, pulled it up, put his arms through the other holes, and connected the chest clasp that was behind the nameplate. “Happy now, you weirdo?” the boy asked derisively, his arms outstretched. “Yes,” the old man smiled. “Now you will be able to help me distribute all of the Christmas gifts tonight.”
Before the boy could react to the old man’s strange remark, he felt a creeping itch on his body. Lifting up his shirt, he found brown and tawny colored fur slowly expanding over his body. He looked at his hands and saw that his fingers were shortening while his fingernails were becoming longer and thicker. “What’s happening? What are you doing to me?” he looked at the old man, obviously scared now. “Well, if you haven’t guessed already,” the old man began, “I am the real Santa Claus. Every year I make a list of the children who have been naughty and who have been nice.” The boy felt his body growing within his clothing and heard his pants rip as a small, pointed tuft of a tail emerged from his backside. “This year,” Santa continued, “you were one of the naughtiest kids on my list.” The boy fell to all fours, no longer able to support his weight on his rapidly changing legs. “Unbeknownst to all, I have a special policy,” Santa stated. “Each year the eight naughtiest children on my list get to redeem themselves by helping me deliver presents to all of the good boys and girls,” Santa smiled at the changing boy, “as my reindeer.” The boy began to speak, but his words came out more as a grunt because his mouth and nose had begun changing into the muzzle of a reindeer. He felt a dull sensation as antlers sprouted from his forehead. The boy probably would have reached up to touch the antlers if his arms and hands had not already become forelegs and hooves. The boy made a loud reindeer grunt as the transformation completed itself. “Don’t worry,” Santa said, “it’s only for one night.” Some reins magically appeared in Santa’s hand and the boy felt an odd piece of metal in the back of his mouth. He struggled, but could not get the bit out of his mouth. Santa led him toward the fireplace, and, in a flash, they were on the roof of the house. Santa had already picked up two of the other reindeer. Apparently, not all of the eight naughtiest children were boys because the reindeer wearing the nameplate ‘Vixen’ had small bumps instead of large antlers. Though the boy’s body was that of a reindeer, his mind was still his and he began to devise his revenge on St. Nick as he was attached to the sleigh. However, as soon as he began to plot, the bit in his mouth wedged itself deeper into his mouth causing him to gag. Somehow the bit reacted to the boy’s negative thoughts.
One by one, the reindeer were added to the sleigh. The boy thought flying would be easy, but he had to run at full speed to avoid being run over by the heavy sleigh. Occasionally, one of the homes would leave out celery and carrots along with the milk and cookies. Santa would divide it evenly among the reindeer. The boy begrudgingly ate his share. He would have gladly bitten off Santa’s hand instead, but between the magical bit in his mouth and the exhausting work he was doing, he needed all the energy he could get. After finishing the last house, Santa got in his sleigh and said, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen. On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen. Now dash away all!” “I’ll dash you away,” the boy thought. Once again, the bit wedged itself back into his mouth and made him gag. They landed on the outskirts of the North Pole where Santa released them from the sleigh and lined them up. Santa stood in front of them, arms behind his back, and spoke, “Now I hope all of you are a little wiser and nicer from this experience. You have worked off your debts, go home and be good.” With a wave of his hand, the eight naughty children turned reindeer were whisked back to their homes and returned to their original forms. Did the boy or the others learn anything? We will have to find out next year...